Relationships and dating are something that I am passionate about. Life is so short and at the core finding some one to love is so important. But not just any one, it has to be the right one.
The person that makes you feel invincable through any adversity.
Too many people are too desperate to find that person and give all of themselves too quickly
to the wrong person. It was a journey finding the right one -but one that has made me wise
and an expert in matters of the heart.
Dear Cookie:
My new boyfriend just came off a long term relationship and he doesnt seem to be as into me as I am into him. How do I know if this is a casual encounter for him or something more?
You have to remember guys come with baggage also. You need to search his heart.
Is he still in pain from his ex? If so odds are you are probably casual. If you want to over come this you need to keep his mind completely off her. Make him laugh and feel loved as much as possible. And when the moments are quiet hold him and tell him he is the world. He will feel comforted and you wont need to mention her name. If he pulls away, let him go -he's used to girls chasing after him. He'll respect you for that and if he does not come back then sadly he was never really yours. Good luck and remember this -Cookie only wants the best for you = 0 calories and a whole lotta love!
Dear Cookie:
I think my boyfriend is a cheater. How can I know for sure?
If you think he is a cheater then he has givin your heart reason to distrust him. Dont waste your time on some one you can't trust. Whether its proven or not, your eyes can never see what your heart does. Sadly though your heart can never see what your eyes do - meaning he could cheat right in front of your face and your heart would close its eyes to it in the name of love. Painful or not, you must be strong and protect your heart in a case like this though. Walk away - if you need absolution though simply have a friend of a friend hit on him and see what he does from a distance. Sistas are usualy more than willing to help each other out in these cases. Keep your eyes open and your heart strong. Lots of love and Cookie kisses.
Dear Cookie:
My best friend just broke up with his girlfriend who I'm pretty sure likes me and like her.
Is it OK to ask her out on a date?
You have to choose who you like more. Its either him or her -you cant have both. I am going to bet that you like the girl more in which case I hope she's the one -because if not you, lost a great friend for a fling. Some people were just meant to be fantasies - a test of character. Self restraint will not only make your best friend respect you more but will make the girl want you more. Things will get hot and you will feel like caving. This is where the true test of character shines the brightest. In the end you will either be stronger or just average. Good luck building your character. You will need it, we all do at some point. All the best, Cookie
Dear Cookie:
I would like to meet a girl who is genuine, fun loving and shares some of my interests. It was easier to talk with girls when I worked in retail or the food industry, because there were so many to choose from,if you could find one that was single.
Where I work now is a small place (good people and I love my job,but they(management) prefers that you don't date co-workers. I was fixed up with someone recently by my best friend but even though things went well on the first date (as I thought)- and she told her friends she has a nice time,when I asked her to go out on a second date she never answered me.
I had planned on either dinner and movie or lunch and wine tasting. What really angered me was not only did I have to find out from my best friend's mom (whom I work with) that although she had a nice time she didn't choose to go on a second date.
I would have thought more of her(respected her more) if she had just said that after I asked her. She didn't even have the courtesy to either tell in person,or by phone (voicemail/text). My friend tells me to try either e-harmony / match .com, country match (as I am a cowboy), etc.-not my style.
Cowboy:
Let's see if I can be of some help...I will tell you that although you may not be a fan of internet dating they are a good way to meet single woman fast. If you are a cowboy then perhaps you enjoy country line dancing? Have you checked out Central CT Singles -they host single dances and many different events to choose from? If you allow yourself to experience new ways of meeting people then you may find a nice girl sooner than you think. From single events to the internet there are many ways to meet available woman...try a few of these and remember nothing ventured ...nothing gained!! Good luck and have fun cowboy!!
Smile, Cookie
Dear Cookie:
I am trying to meet the right man, but I always seem to attract the same type of person!
Most of my relationships have similar endings, and when they are over, I am back on the singles scene looking for Mr.. Right again (although I always end up with Mr.. Right Now)
I am beginning to think that there is something wrong with me. How can I break this pattern and find a decent man?
Ann from Bristol, Connecticut
Ann,
The important thing is that you recognize there is a pattern with the men you are choosing and you are not alone in this, believe me. Woman have a tendency to repeat the same patterns over again when looking for a potential suitor and that means having our hearts broken more times than not.
The key here is to take your time when meeting someone new and really ask yourself the tough questions and not be afraid to ask questions up front at the start of a new relationship.
Make a list and ask yourself, what am I really looking for and what do I really want long term? What are my goals and don't be afraid to ask the new man his goals for the future. Where does he see himself down the road, is he interested in marriage or just dating? Are you compatible on different levels..emotionally, spiritually, intelligently? Do you share some common interests and activities?
Remember a good relationship is built on mutual respect and friendship first and foremost. I hope this helps you as you continue your journey to find true love.
Keep smiling, Cookie
Cookie:
I have tried internet dating, speed dating, blind dates, email, chat rooms, etc
and I still have not met anyone that I really like.
I am tempted to try an event where I can meet a large group of people face to face , maybe I will have better luck meeting a nice girl.
I am a shy person, and sometimes I have a problem motivating myself to get out of the house.
I don't want to spend thousands of dollars with a dating or matchmaking service. What do you suggest so I can meet new people in a casual no-pressure environment?
Thanks,
Dan S -West Hartford, CT
Dan:
I commend you for trying so many different ways to meet women however I think you're latest idea is the best one yet! Try going to a singles dance, they are a great way to meet woman face to face in a fun atmosphere without the pressure that goes along with blind dates, or speed dating.
And even if dancing is not your thing you can still mingle and meet new people and who knows you may even discover you enjoy dancing! It only takes meeting that one special someone and you're on you're way! So try a singles dance and enjoy yourself!
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